I already know I’m a hard person to deal with. Communication has never been my strong suit. I keep people out of my life because it’s easier. I put things on tumblr just for the sake of getting the thought out of my head. As soon as it’s out, I’m done with it. Does it make it okay that I thought no one of importance would see it? No, it doesn’t. Just because it no longer means anything to me, doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt someone else. I’m still mad or upset at a boy for hurting me, that’s why I wasn’t in the mood today. That’s what I meant. The second comment, I have no idea why I even put that. I honestly don’t. Obviously it was from anger, but to pin point what anger and why I decided to take it out on you.. I really have no explanation. I’m sorry doesn’t even begin to describe what I am. I want to say only nice things about people. I’ve experienced too much ugly in the world to spread more of it. So any explanation as to why I wrote what I wrote isn’t around to be said. There isn’t one. I have no excuse. The fact that I’m writing another text post on here is slightly ironic. But I feel it’s necessary. I’m scared. I’m petrified of what happens next. You know, I can’t even blame you for whatever you choose to do. I don’t know why I would use such hurtful words to one of the most important people in my life. I don’t. Nothing I’ve said is for you to feel sorry for me. I’m not looking for sympathy. Maybe an understanding of where it came from, though I know I don’t deserve that.
"I wonder if you ever talk about missing me to anyone."
"Have some fire. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Be better than anyone here, and don’t give a damn what anyone thinks. There are no teams here, no buddies. You’re on your own. Be on your own."
"That’s one of the great things about music. You can sing a song to 85,000 people and they’ll sing it back for 85,000 different reasons."
"Date someone who is interested in you. I don’t mean someone who thinks you’re cute or funny. I mean someone who wants to know every insignificant detail about you. Someone who wants to read every word you write. Someone who wants hear every note of your favourite song, and watch every scene of your favourite movie. Someone wants to find every scar upon your body, and learn where each one came from. Someone who wants to know your favourite brand of toothpaste, and which quotes resonate deep inside your bones when you hear them. There is a difference between attraction and interest. Find the person who wants to learn every aspect of who you are."
|*looking at my face*:||oh my god why
|*trying to exercise*:||oh my god why
|*looking at my life*:||oh my god why
|*looking at my music taste*:||cool man
"I’m not used to being loved. I wouldn’t know what to do."